The hairpin - By Tobias
I hold the strands of her auburn hair. It flows like water. The eyes of the tall shy boy are fixed on me. He is in love. To him, I am a part of her. I am her silver hairpin.
She pulls the covers over them; they lay entwined in the winter chill. They look into each others eyes. Deep within her new life began. I am her pillow.
I turn easily, as Im new. Young Martita and her parents enter. The mother gifts her a silver hairpin. Its an heirloom from oversees. Her hair looks like her mothers. I am the key to her first apartment.
The woman inside me has silver hair. She almost looks alive. Her husband looks frail. He sends us off while his daughter supports him. I am a wooden casket.
The last 5 years I was a part of him. I will be discarded. Just this morning he told his daughter he loved her. Now I hold his stiff body. I was his wheelchair.
I am unclasped and her hair runs free. They kiss while they lay entwined. Her hair flows over the pillow. I lay on the nightstand. I am Martitas silver hairpin.
She pulls the covers over them; they lay entwined in the winter chill. They look into each others eyes. Deep within her new life began. I am her pillow.
I turn easily, as Im new. Young Martita and her parents enter. The mother gifts her a silver hairpin. Its an heirloom from oversees. Her hair looks like her mothers. I am the key to her first apartment.
The woman inside me has silver hair. She almost looks alive. Her husband looks frail. He sends us off while his daughter supports him. I am a wooden casket.
The last 5 years I was a part of him. I will be discarded. Just this morning he told his daughter he loved her. Now I hold his stiff body. I was his wheelchair.
I am unclasped and her hair runs free. They kiss while they lay entwined. Her hair flows over the pillow. I lay on the nightstand. I am Martitas silver hairpin.
Comments (66)
Quoting Caldwell
Which should be "They flow like water."
True, but my mind assigns the pronoun of a new sentence to the object of the previous one in an instance like this. I would find it easier to read if the second sentence referred to the strands.
Fair enough. See my second comment above.
That aside, there is one "I" who is several objects--hairpin, pillow, key, casket, wheelchair, and hairpin again. Is the "I" different in each object or the same?
Neither flows in a literal sense, so either metaphor works.
I suggest you watch the movie "Under The Pavement Lies Strand". I could only watch the first ten minutes, it was that bad, but that was worth it. I'm richer for the experience.
Agree. A bit insulting to the author, I think.
What are your thoughts?
I've still to read again and comment.
The discussion so far is not illuminating.
Understood. I haven't digested it either. It's a tricky one. I look forward to your comments. It might help me understand...
Thanks :up:
In each case, the hairpin offers "that which keeps it together, that which has the utmost responsibility."
The hairpin in this sense is a metaphor for solidarity. It holds things together.
Thanks for stimulating thoughts. @Vera Mont - beautifully concise yourself :up:
I've still to sit down with this and follow the travels of Martita's silver pin...
Look forward to hearing more from @Jamal @Noble Dust and @god must be atheist, please :pray:
Good question :chin:
Thanks.
Why would a hairpin not be a metaphor?
It has travelled and been appreciated over the years from different perspectives not just a life.
[Did you go just go back and edit your post to include 'or series of perspectives' ?! :smirk: ]
Quoting Benj96
I agree. It holds things together, not just hair. And freedom ensues from its unclasping...it can be a beautiful constraint...
Beautiful :flower:
Why would it be a metaphor? Why should what is described always represent something else? The challenge of fiction is not primarily to, with deliberation, convey important messages or general truths, but to do justice to the specificity of things, to the thisness of this or that. Allegory, symbolism and so on are often glib and facile, in my opinion, and are often secondary even when theyre not. At least, its not to my taste.
That said, some writers, especially here, do seem to want to say something big or represent something beyond what theyve explicitly written, so your interpretation might be apt. The danger is that in always looking for something secret, you miss the resonances that are there on the surface. But you know thats how I feel about fiction, as Ive ranted about it before. Ill stop myself now :grin:
Yep :smile:
Resonances abound everywhere. We can appreciate both surface floaters and deep-sea divers.
You know that. I see depth in your stories which use symbolism and more besides.
Are you being contrary just for the sake of it?
Naughty boy :angry:
Heaven forbid :pray:
I wasn't aware of this promise of a discussion. That would be fantastic. It's much needed :sparkle:
Have it on the Main Page, please. So everyone can see it. Not just those already here.
By the way, I dont use symbolism in my stories. Sympathetic resonances and enlightening symmetries, sure, I attempt them. Jesus I sound pretentious.
Thanks. I've learned something. Sympathetic resonances and enlightening symmetries, eh?
I've more questions but Martita's silver hairpin is being ignored. Later... :up:
Well we can take it literally of course. In that case it is a sentient shape-shifting hairpin speaking to us about its life and many forms, as the narrator. That certainly adds comedic value to the story.
Why a shapeshifter would choose to be a hairpin of all things I'm not sure. Perhaps they just love being stuck to Martitas head? Lol.
But yes, in any case taking it literally offers new ideas and new questions.
I personally prefer to see it as a metaphor or analogy/parable rather than the literal sense as I assume (but may be incorrect who knows) that the author meant it to be interpreted that way.
There is space between an object in a story standing for something else (like a concept, emotion, feature of life, or force of history), and the object as a literal supernatural or science fiction phenomenon. In magic realism, postmodern fiction, slipstream fiction, as well as in genres that go back centuries, a talking dog might be presented without an explanation of how such a creature could exist, but at the same time it need not represent some high concept. Same with a hairpin.
But it does reach some interesting conclusions I think. Taking on the literal sense: the hairpin to be a shapeshifter, I mused at why on earth it would choose to be such an innocuous/overlookable item? If one could change into any form, why choose one practically unappreciable?
And this was simply summarising my argument that it doesn't matter how literal or metaphorical you take a story to be, it can offer important or interesting questions.
Our assumptions dictate the types of questions we can ask.
Yes definitely. I agree with your points :)
Thanks, that's all I was looking for: quick acquiescence. :wink:
Yes you do.
Meanwhile, every story of mine has layers, so you better search for the symbolism if you want to really understand it.
That's one worldview. The other is that there is deep hidden meaning in everything.
But that's not to say I disagree with your view that you can cancel out the beauty by ignoring the experience and instead focusing on details you might be subjectively imposing.
Yours seems more Zen like.
including stop signs
It means drive with abandon. I promise.
I'm having trouble understanding this.
EDIT: I get it now :up:
Yes, back on topic.
I'd have guessed this was your story based upon the shifting perspectives, reminiscent of your Plum Pie story if I'm remembering right.
OK. That doesn't sound so very exciting. A hairpin: can hold the hair of men or women in place.
Everyday or decorative. Depending on culture and context. Showy or invisible. Symbolic or not.
A hairpin is a hairpin is a hairpin.
But this is not just any old hairpin. It is THE hairpin. What hairpin, whose, when, where, why?
Will our curiosity be sated by knowledge or understanding? Facts or fiction.
The story starts with an 'I'. First-person singular pronoun. Usually a person with an individual character.
This 'I' holds the strands of the auburn hair of a woman. But not too tight because it flows.
There's a young boy in love with the woman but his eyes are fixed on the silver hairpin.
Is it more beautiful? No. He loves it because The hairpin is part of who she is. Is it so meaningful to her? The hairpin is the capital 'I' not just an object.
The story has an interesting structure. In 6 parts of 2 lines each. Like a poem. Of love?
Each part distinct ( separate strands) but flow into one. What holds them together?
Part 2: 'She'. Is it the same 'she'? 'They' are together entwined as one. Is it the same young boy?
When is this taking place? Later. Perhaps. Sperm has penetrated egg. A new creation forming. Then another 'I'. This time the pillow. What importance? A gentle place to rest her head; a support.
Part 3: Another new and significant 'I'. We are introduced to young Martita. Is this the 'she'?
Or could the previous 'she' be her mother who enters with her father. Courtesy of the easily turning key.
The 'I' is key. The key to what? Martita's 1st apartment and a new life. Freedom.
The hairpin (the previous 'I') makes an appearance. An heirloom from abroad. Somewhere exotic?
Beautiful and of value; passed through the generations of a family. Strands of flowing life. The mother's hair is like the daughter's. Was the hairpin her own to give so lovingly?
Part 4: Another 'she'; a new 'me' and 'I'. The coffin holding the silver-haired woman. Which 'she'?
Her husband frail, supported by his daughter. Which family? The one of part 1 or 2. Confused yet?
Is the daughter Martita or is it she who lies dead. The end of her life and love. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Part 5: The significant 'I' is the wheelchair of the father. Part of him. Like the hairpin was part of the woman. Love passed on.
Part 6: The Final Part of the story.
Have we come full circle?
The 'I' is Martita's silver hairpin. Now unclasped. Hair set free and flowing over the 'I' of the pillow.
Love continues; intertwined with life and everything that matters.
The hairpin of the title is the main character holding the story together.
***
This piece of micro-fiction is a real joy to read and follow, even with some perplexing pronouns.
It expands into a world of emotion. There are elements of joy, hope and sorrow.
Everything in life that the hairpin has observed as if alive...
The delicate pieces are not top-heavy. The balance and lightness shine through, lifting the spirits.
Thank you, dear author :sparkle:
You're back! It took this beauty. Wow, just wow :fire:
Again, you write movingly and with great sensitivity; sharing poetry with poetry.
Thank you :sparkle:
The short final sentences of each part relieve the suspense of questions of identity:
1. I am her silver hairpin
2. I am her pillow
3. I am the key to her first apartment
4. I am a wooden casket
5. I was his wheelchair
6. I am Martita's silver hairpin
Reminds me of childsplay :smile:
A game with the aim of guessing an object asking a series of questions. The first being "Is it Animal, Vegetable or Mineral?". If the object in mind is a hairpin, the answer would be mineral.
But is that all there is to the hairpin?
The questions following can only be answered with a Yes or No.
This story provides responses to the 6 riddles but we don't have all the answers.
It inspires more questions for the curious.
Indeed, the final query might be: "Is That All There Is?"...to life...
Nice! I liked that the "speaker" is revealed to be a hairpin a a little late, comoing as a surprise and dissolving the momentary confusion I was tricked in, with the male and female persons involved in the scene and who is who!
You are right, in a strict way, since the subject is the strands and the object is the hair. However, with a little shift of the subject --by poetic license-- "it flows" may also refer to the hair. But I wouldn't get stopped by this. What follows, the "hairpin" surprise, is excellent!
Sounds like a quote from lady Whistledown in Bridgerton :P
Animal, Vegetable, Mineral (1956)
The main idea was to write a love story. What happens? Tow people fall in love. I have experienced that when falling in love one finds mundane objects of the other fascinating. A hairpin for instance. A hairpin for me is a fascinating object because indeed it binds. I find all kinds of jewelry fascinating actually. The switching of perspectives is done to convey some external perspective. The objects have no stake in it, they are onlookers. The reader becomes a similar onlooker. However, it is also done because it conveys a kind of groundedness or materiality to the affair. Characters are not just characters, they have a life that is embedded in all kinds of material things. Would the boy have fallen in love without that specific hairpin he finds fascinating? Probably, but not certainly. I do not like stylized characters actually, who are just there in one piece, people change and become different also because they find themselves in different surroundings.
A lot of my stories are about unrequited love, misunderstanding, a world where the characters do not belong. This one is not. I wished to write a story about a world where they are at home, where they find themselves and find love.
That was my departure, so, yes, the shy boy gets the girl with the hair pin. They find themselves in bed, in a relationship probably in which they have children. But then, what happens in a successful love affair. The child they beget grows up, leaves the house, starts a life of her own in a new apartment. For parents this is an important event. They give something, something important to them, something to remember them by. Her hair pin.
Then... well love endures, but will have to end, like everything else will. The woman, mother of the daughter, the girl from the first lines dies. She is older, her hair turned from auburn to silver. The man is frail, also old, but loves her dearly. His daughter, the one who lives in the apartment now supports him. He is grieving, as is normal when you lose your loved one.
A couple of years later it is his time... he is old and in a wheelchair. He dies, suddenly and rather smoothly so it seems because he just told his daughter he loved her, which he did.
In the last lines the cycle repeats. The daughter Martita (or possibly Marta now) is in a relationship of her own, maybe conceiving a child. It is the repetition of love, the eternal recurrence. But that requires accepting fate, the fate of loss.
Though there is little of metaphor or allegory in the story, I do love @Amity insight that the hairpin holds the strands of the story together. That is very true, though I have not conceived of it as such. I am happy it is there though because it inadvertently makes the story stronger.
This is really interesting, and a good way to put it. It finds a middle ground between Amitys view and my own.
A beautiful story poetically told. Thoughtful, delicate and a welcome change from violence to love.
Quoting Tobias
Thank you. Sometimes the inspiration in a story is contagious; stimulating ideas.
Thought-provoking :sparkle:
Quoting Jamal
Yes. It is the hairpin that binds :wink:
@Tobias - grateful for such detailed feedback :clap: