How I met your mother - By Olivier5
It was snowing a lot that night. I was walking towards the airport shuttle, leaving the country. She appeared there, like some Virgin Mary dancing in the lights. I had stumbled onto the bus; she was dancing inside.
There was nobody else except the driver. I took a seat. We remained parked for a long time all along I could hear her steps tapping in the aisle behind me.
I asked the driver why we weren't moving. He didnt answer. I shook his shoulder. He dropped onto the floor!
She came next to me, then kneeled on him. He was still breathing. She said the nearest health facility was at the airport. She was working there in some shop and knew the place.
So I drove the damn bus all the way to the airport, battling against the gears and blizzard... I wanted to look good, you know? They saved him in the end. But I never took that flight. Local journalists were soon all over us -- "Airport Angel and the Bus Samaritan"... Your mother was doing all the talking; you know her.
She was an angel... My angel, for so many years.
There was nobody else except the driver. I took a seat. We remained parked for a long time all along I could hear her steps tapping in the aisle behind me.
I asked the driver why we weren't moving. He didnt answer. I shook his shoulder. He dropped onto the floor!
She came next to me, then kneeled on him. He was still breathing. She said the nearest health facility was at the airport. She was working there in some shop and knew the place.
So I drove the damn bus all the way to the airport, battling against the gears and blizzard... I wanted to look good, you know? They saved him in the end. But I never took that flight. Local journalists were soon all over us -- "Airport Angel and the Bus Samaritan"... Your mother was doing all the talking; you know her.
She was an angel... My angel, for so many years.
Comments (36)
Quoting Caldwell
If she kneeled by or beside him, I'm happy.
Correct.
I mean it's a very cool story if true, but felt like maybe some bad judgment, especially if it were motivated by him trying to impress her as opposed to doing what was best for the dying guy.
To me that's what makes it a story. Our hero had some important business to do -- leaving the country. Surely this is about his life. But he changed his priority when the bus driver needed help -- which also changed his life forever.
The motive of the hero somewhat gives it a bit more excitement. Another story used this element -- Escape in Autumn. The anti-hero actually found solace in being eaten by the hell pig in exchange for escaping from his pursuers.
"The nurses said it was a diabetic coma. What do expect when insulin $200 a vial? I saw the brilliant white light and this beautiful woman dancing in it, a Virgin Mary. She handed me a red drink with a celery stick in it and said, "Here's your Virgin Mary, honey."
When I awoke in my hospital bed I was very bummed. Life is too expensive and I don't know how I'm going to afford any of it while driving an airport shuttle. "
Hell pig?
A pig is a humble animal.
The one that bit me was borderline arrogant.
Quoting Caldwell
My take:
They were made for each other. Nutters driving and dancing.
I think the mother is a murdering psychopath - failed in her second attempt to kill by suffocation.
Quoting Olivier5
Positional asphyxia: so kneeling on is right.
He was an idiot. For so many years. We don't know why he was 'leaving the country'.
A permanent escape from a set of unfortunate circumstances?
God help the child...
***
OK story. Atmospheric. Creepy tap-tapping along the aisle in an empty bus :scream:
Thanks, author :up:
This line is curious. The author insists we all know this "dancing queen" that informed the good samaritan of how best to help the dying bus driver.
They imply she is "our mother" - some resounding, caring principle that all people can identify as akin to the spirit of motherhood - protection, sensibility, care giver.
Perhaps it symbolises our innate good will towards others (samaritan).
The protagonist certainly took it "on board" in the bus. Driving or propagating something he's not used to against all odds to help another.
I think the "Angel" in this story is cooperation, the saviour within us all. The compulsion to help.
He's talking to his child/children relating how he met her. See title.
For what reason?
Not to be good.
For appearances.
Quoting Hanover
Exactly.
I think the 'Angel' in this story is the Angel of Death.
Am I the only jaundiced reader, here? :chin:
Maybe these micro-stories, leaving by force much to the readers' imagination, function as the Rohrbach test? :-)
I think it's a Christmas story that doesn't say its name. It starts with the customary snow, then the lone, wandering individual, soon visited by a vision of the Virgin Mary...
Yeah. I am beginning to think I'm revealing too much of my dark side.
Time to :zip: :grin:
Please no! It's fascinating...
Quoting Olivier5
Yeah, so is Voyeurism. I imagine :joke:
How you say 'peeping tom' en français?...
To be fair this had crossed my mind too. For reasons of unpalatability (personal bias) I chose to elect a more optimistic viewpoint. But I can't help but recognise the fact that others have pointed out the angel of death angle and I can't pretend I didn't consider it. Therefore, perhaps it is the case.
Who? Where?
Quoting Benj96
You wanted to look good :wink:
You saying I'm not human :gasp:
But you're right. We put on our masks to suit.
Talking of which...what's with your profile pic?
What do you mean?
What do you think I mean?
Is that you wearing a mask and hospital gown...
Sorry, author, if we're taking a side-track but that's where some questions lead.
I promise no more personal chit-chat from me after this:
Quoting Benj96
Wow. It must have been very bad to be hospitalised. Hope you have recovered well.
Take care :sparkle:
Quoting Amity
Oh I'm not the author of this one haha. You'll have to guess again. Nice try though.
Stopping now. G'night.
I started to write this story while waiting in an airport shuttle... I wanted to write a Christmas tale, because it's in season. However, I then thought that TPFers would tend to balk at anything explicitly religious, sentimental, or even optimistic. Note how many of the entries are about violence.
So it had to be a stealth Christmas carol, in order to reach the heart of even the most cynical philosopher out here.
For that I needed 1) a snowy night, 2) a lone, wandering soul, 3) an ordeal, a test of the character's good will leading to some sort of redemption, 4) a little miracle but a lay one: one easily explained (hence the Virgin Mary vision), and of course 5) love, the greatest miracle.
The "how I met your mother" ploy saved a lot of words. It framed the story as a life story, about a man meeting a woman and falling in love. Very economical, for a micro fiction.
I am immensely grateful for the comments, particularly to @Vera Mont for spotting the poor word choice in 'she kneeled on him', to @Amity for her alternative and hilarious interpretation (perfectly valid I suppose), and to @Nils Loc for giving us the bus driver's version (:-)). Thank you also to those who wrote a kind word. Happy you liked it!
@Caldwell, you're my hero.
Quoting Olivier5
Clever. I blame my cynicism on my hefty (since November!) consumption of Christmas cookies à la slushy American Santa tales. Film escapism from doom'n'gloom and then I come here...
Quoting Olivier5
Ah well, you are forgiven the interesting prepositional error, being un homme français :cool:
It was the inspiration behind my alternate, creepy version. Positional asphyxia!
Also, @Nils Loc's imaginative perspective :up:
Thoroughly enjoyed the thrilling, slay ride in the snow :wink: :sparkle:
I was aiming at a non-slushy one... :-)
Yeah. But it was all the goody-goody Angel and Samaritan bits that got me going :wink:
Yeah, massively BIG FAIL...Not!
It was seamless and a warm tale of love. I enjoyed your explanation of the elements:
Quoting Olivier5
Clever ploy. I think @Caldwell should change the rules to include words in the title :wink:
Seriously though, I pay particular attention to titles for a hint as to contents. Also, look for continuity of the theme, where I can. The fact that I go way overboard in interpretation looking for things that aren't there...well...that's down to me. I think I've learned my lesson but it's fun anyway.
I reckon I was tired and more curmudgeonly than usual when I read your story and @Benkei's 'Astronaut'. Both should have raised my spirits. I guess that's why some stories work only at certain times.
If low, then all can seem dark...even the laughter of others...not a good place to be!
Thankfully, I'm not there long.
'Short Story 4 - MicroFiction' organised with such a generous spirit by @Caldwell did so much to brighten and lighten these cold, dark days. As did all the authors and engagement.
Thanks again :clap: :sparkle: