Penelope - By Jamal

Caldwell December 18, 2022 at 05:48 2400 views 31 comments
—Garrison Titmouse.

—What?

—I’m Garrison Titmouse, here to see David Swift.

—Oh right! Take a seat Gary, I’ll see if he’s available.

—I have an appointment. An interview. And it’s Garrison.

—What?

—Garrison. My name. Not Gary.

—Oh, I much prefer Gary. Less formal.

—Well, no, it’s always been Garrison.

—Suit yourself! Take a seat and I’ll tell ... um ...

—David Swift?

—I'll tell Dave you’re here. Glass of wine?

—Uh ... no thanks, just water.

She pointed at the cooler.

—Help yourself, Garrison.

He looked down at her badge.

—Thanks, Penny.

She made the call, then watched him as he paced, plastic cup in hand.

—You should relax, you know. Sam says stress causes cancer.

—Sam?

—Yep.

He waited a moment, but it seemed that Sam’s identity would remain obscure.

—Well … thanks for the advice.

—You're welcome, it’s free!

Then she threw her head back and, one would have to say, literally howled. It was unmistakably a laugh, but it seemed better suited to summoning wolves. Garrison imagined a pack of lupine receptionists in a moonlit glade.

Curious about this strange woman, he let her compose herself, then...

—Dinner tonight?

—Only if I can call you Gary.

Comments (31)

god must be atheist December 18, 2022 at 05:54 #764800
The ending reminds me of the parrot scene by Monty Python. The shopkeeper and the customer argue about a refund for a parrot that died a day after the customer took it home. They go on quite a bit, when the shopkeeper says (or the customer, I can't remember which) "do you want to go upstairs?" and the other replies, "I thought you'd never ask." Or maybe it's the ending to the skit where they give gibberish translation books of common phrases to Hungarian immigrants.
Ansiktsburk December 18, 2022 at 07:48 #764806
Yep, and even more that sketch where one of the pythons ends by saying to the cop,”wanna pop over to my place” “ok”, according to Cleese totally improvised on the spot.

I would definitely go out with Penelope if I wasnt married And I liked the story.
Tobias December 18, 2022 at 13:32 #764830
Yes! I like this one. It is strange but at the same time all too common. Strong.
edit: The name 'Garrison Titmouse' already seals the deal for me. I use to give family member new names once in a while and inform them through whatsapp of their new identity. I wish I had thought this one up. I would have so given it to my brother.
Olivier5 December 19, 2022 at 19:51 #765067
Quoting Tobias
The name 'Garrison Titmouse' already seals the deal for me.


I agree. Penelope is also a great find. Also, smart 'tension' between the title and text ('Penny'). Well composed piece overall.
Tobias December 19, 2022 at 21:13 #765083
I am really curious who's story this is, but I would not be surprised if it was @180 Proof. Just like the last lines in Felice left me very sad, these last lines left me very uplifted.

Garrison does give off some incel-hero vibe, but in a positive way. I hope his date was wiiiiillld!
Caldwell December 20, 2022 at 02:32 #765133
All names get shortened by Penelope.

We all love a happy ending.

Tobias December 20, 2022 at 12:51 #765199


Penelope is the shortener of names and the mother of werereceptionists. I like how the way P. laughs is in fact irritating, or at least odd, yet also gives a distinct sexual connotation. One imagines a beast in bed like Garrison did.

Quoting Caldwell
We all love a happy ending.

In a story I can like a sad one too, though prefer an open ended one to simply a sad one. However, many of the stories seem to have dread, longing, sadness or moral message in them. It is refreshing to see one that doesn't and is still very well written, with an unexpected light footed ending...
Jamal December 20, 2022 at 12:55 #765200
This reminds me of those romantic comedies in which an uptight guy meets a zany girl (sometimes the other way round) and falls in love despite himself. Even if it's an old trope, it's a good one, rich in possibilities.
Vera Mont December 21, 2022 at 03:03 #765437
It's funny and rather sweet. I like that they're not perfect people and their distinct personalities are shown with such economy of language.
Caldwell December 21, 2022 at 03:15 #765441
Same here -- their personalities are conveyed well by the dialogue. Speaking of dialogues, one can get away with no narrative, just conversations.
Tobias December 21, 2022 at 08:24 #765487
Quoting Vera Mont
their distinct personalities are shown with such economy of language.


Yeah, that was what I liked a lot too.
Quoting Caldwell
Speaking of dialogues, one can get away with no narrative, just conversations.


Certainly. One of the greatest novels of all time, 'Les liaisons Dangereuses', is composed entirely of letters.
Jack Cummins December 21, 2022 at 13:19 #765528
Reply to Caldwell
I think that it works as a sketch but probably would need more to make it stand out as a worthwhile story. However, it is a worthwhile reflection on names and the distinction between the formal and more intimate ways of knowing another.
Noble Dust December 21, 2022 at 18:40 #765600
Quoting Tobias
I am really curious who's story this is, but I would not be surprised if it was 180 Proof.


:up:

I liked it! Succinct. No words wasted, which is definitely an important aspect of these micro stories. I liked the bird names (Titmouse and Swift) although I'm not clear on if they have any significance. Penelope apparently means "a type of duck" in Classical Greek. Maybe she could have instead tilted her head back and, one would have to say, literally quacked...
Jamal December 22, 2022 at 05:18 #765760
Quoting Noble Dust
Maybe she could have instead tilted her head back and, one would have to say, literally quacked


:lol:

As an ornithophile myself, I found the bird names charming, but I don’t think we need to look for any great significance there. I could be totally wrong but I reckon the author’s just having fun, or it’s an inconsequential Easter egg for the reader. Or maybe in a story like this, in which every word and punctuation mark has its indispensable place, to choose a name merely at random would be negligent.
Tobias December 22, 2022 at 09:59 #765776
Quoting Jamal
As an ornithophile myself, I found the bird names charming, but I don’t think we need to look for any great significance there.


Agreed. Also, the lupine receptionist in a moonlit grade conveys a very strong sexual overtone. You immediately know Penelope will be a beast in bed. There will be no such message, had he imagined her as the leader of a pack of duck-esque receptionists. The wolf works better in the story.

By the way I have a hate / love affair with ducks. I was sincerely miffed while I noticed this book was not about prosecuting them for their numerous crimes against humanity....

User image

Jamal December 22, 2022 at 10:05 #765777
Reply to Tobias :lol:
Amity December 26, 2022 at 22:21 #766725
I think I'm too late to add any more to the previous perspicacious posts.

But hey, it's clever, fun and sexy. An apt shortening theme.
It also makes me want to read 'Gulliver's Travels' by Jonathan Swift.

Many Congrats. Another story with a female name as title and a watercooler/drink -machine liaison. But this time different; I was left light and smiling.
Just what the doctor ordered.
Felicitations :fire:

Edit: Penelope. I didn't think of a duck or a fuck but the puppet Lady Penelope in Thunderbirds. A posh bird.

'Garrison' - could be another animated character. South Park ?

Quoting Jamal
This reminds me of those romantic comedies in which an uptight guy meets a zany girl (sometimes the other way round) and falls in love despite himself. Even if it's an old trope, it's a good one, rich in possibilities.


:up:
Or a zany cartoon...well, fuck a duck :love:

'Titmouse, Inc. is an American animation studio that develops and produces animated television programming, feature films, music videos, title sequences, commercials, and short films.'

David "Dave" Swift (July 27, 1919 – December 31, 2001) was an American screenwriter, animator,

Hmmm. Author is a cartoon aficionado ?
Damn... :chin:

Sam:
I am Sam / Sam I am" of the book Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss?
Jamal December 27, 2022 at 05:35 #766796
Quoting Amity
Titmouse


It's a bird. It's the old name for a tit, and might still be used in North America for a particular genus of tits.
Amity December 27, 2022 at 06:17 #766799
Quoting Jamal
It's a bird.


Yeah, yeah, I know that :roll:

Why don't you pecker off and let me have my fun...I'm tempted but [s]I will not say anything untoward about North America and its tits.[/s] Nope. I will not.

Jamal December 27, 2022 at 06:18 #766800
Reply to Amity :eyes:
Amity December 27, 2022 at 06:21 #766801
Reply to Jamal Yes, well... :kiss:
Jamal December 31, 2022 at 22:32 #768082
Quoting Ansiktsburk
I would definitely go out with Penelope if I wasnt married


Quoting Tobias
Yes! I like this one.


Quoting Tobias
these last lines left me very uplifted


Quoting Vera Mont
It's funny and rather sweet


Quoting Noble Dust
I liked it!


These responses are very pleasing to me, so thank you.

Quoting Tobias
One imagines a beast in bed


Quoting Tobias
You immediately know Penelope will be a beast in bed


Although this is your own horny nature more than anything I intended, I do like the interpretation. There is obviously an attraction there.

I did almost introduce a more overtly sexual element: instead of “He looked down at her badge” I was going to put “He looked down at her left breast,” but later realized that I didn’t want to imply that the attraction was only or primarily physical.

Of my three stories, this one took the most skill, deliberation, and craft.
Jamal December 31, 2022 at 22:39 #768086
Quoting Caldwell
Then she threw her head back and, one would have to say, literally howled.


Just after I wrote this I realized I’d unconsciously stolen part of it from Thomas Pynchon, who I’m reading at the moment. He has a lot of “one would have to say” and “you’d have to say”.
Noble Dust January 01, 2023 at 03:49 #768168
Reply to Jamal

Nice work; I really thought I was reading this one in @180 Proof's idiolect, but he (and you) continue to prove more slippery than I imagined. For me, this one used the tiny 200 world limit very well. I need to go back and re-read more entries, though, as I've had a hell of a past couple weeks. This one stood out for me, though.
Tobias January 01, 2023 at 04:39 #768175
Quoting Jamal
Of my three stories, this one took the most skill, deliberation, and craft.


And it was also great. I think it is a good decision to not make it overtly sexual. It would diminish the strength of the last line.

Quoting Jamal
Although this is your own horny nature more than anything I intended, I do like the interpretation. There is obviously an attraction there.


I find that hard to believe... you toned down the sexual element and rightly so. However, that shows you full well knew it was there. You put it there so much you even had to tone it down. Our natures are all the same Mr. Jamal, even the nature of a master storyteller. Happy new year! :starstruck:
180 Proof January 01, 2023 at 04:41 #768176
Reply to Jamal Masterful. :cool:
Jamal January 01, 2023 at 08:03 #768203
Quoting Noble Dust
I need to go back and re-read more entries, though, as I've had a hell of a past couple weeks. This one stood out for me, though.


Thanks ND, and I hope your next weeks are less onerous.

Reply to 180 Proof Thanks!

Quoting Tobias
I find that hard to believe


I actually didn’t see the connection between her howling and her imagined sexual performance. It was more about making her seem a bit weird. Who knows, you might be right and it was working in my unconscious.

Happy new year :party:
Amity January 01, 2023 at 09:26 #768207
Quoting Jamal
These responses are very pleasing to me, so thank you.


Proper 'pologies for being such a perfectly unpleasing tit :yikes:

Happy New Year :party:
Jamal January 01, 2023 at 09:29 #768209
Well, much as it pains me to admit it, I did find these reactions very pleasing:

Quoting Amity
clever, fun and sexy


Quoting Amity
I was left light and smiling
Amity January 01, 2023 at 09:30 #768210
Reply to Jamal

:smile: We're good :up:
Jamal January 01, 2023 at 09:32 #768211
Reply to Amity :cool: