Ashen One - (anonymous)
I've always hated evil. The clasping of hands in prayer that alleviated the burdens of both rich and poor, my only reprieve. I grew troubled.
Until I met her.
A living goddess adorned in black. From different "backgrounds" we'll say. My strengths and weaknesses and those of hers, rather the gains and losses created as result were not relevant to one another and in such we became close..Like brother and sister.
One night as we drunk intensely, I asked, "isn't it high time we do something about it?" From then, those whose names I've scribbled in my notes as "evil" began to perish, one by one. Only a pile of ash found. We met after each occurrence, laughing, almost wickedly as we knew. It was control I despised.
That which was wicked was now good, those who suffered now rejoiced. Those that once restricted me now seemed to execute my every desire.
"Only one left" she said as she removed her black gloves and clasped her hands in the familiar manner as I realized her role, "No!" I shouted fiercely.
Too late. I have many names here now. This world's prophets, dictators, messiahs, I'm forbidden to continue. Simply, Me.
Until I met her.
A living goddess adorned in black. From different "backgrounds" we'll say. My strengths and weaknesses and those of hers, rather the gains and losses created as result were not relevant to one another and in such we became close..Like brother and sister.
One night as we drunk intensely, I asked, "isn't it high time we do something about it?" From then, those whose names I've scribbled in my notes as "evil" began to perish, one by one. Only a pile of ash found. We met after each occurrence, laughing, almost wickedly as we knew. It was control I despised.
That which was wicked was now good, those who suffered now rejoiced. Those that once restricted me now seemed to execute my every desire.
"Only one left" she said as she removed her black gloves and clasped her hands in the familiar manner as I realized her role, "No!" I shouted fiercely.
Too late. I have many names here now. This world's prophets, dictators, messiahs, I'm forbidden to continue. Simply, Me.
Comments (6)
Good stuff! :smile: :up:
But nobody got destroyed. People were changed from bad to good, and good to good. I don't understand the ending either.Quoting Caldwell
It is at best ambiguous. Evil people perished, turned into ashes, or else they were now turned to good? Or would only their evil quality perish?
Or did people realize the pattern and started to suck up to the Narrator?
I am sorry, I can't set this story straight in my mind.
Quoting Caldwell
Was it control as such, as a general activity that the narrator despised, or was it this particular control the narrator despised? "This control I despised" would have erased the ambiguity.
If it were this control that the narrator despised, why did s/he continue to exercise it?
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Above this line can be ambiguous, or maybe it works. But the following has a serious continuity error:
Quoting Caldwell
Hoppla. It was the Narrator who had compiled the list.
Quoting Caldwell
Was the Narrator self-loathing? No. Then why on earth would s/he put himself or herself on the list of people s/he thought of as evil? There is no human being who thinks of himself or herself as evil. Only the insane do. If we do have a reason to think that, we employ the rationalization process on the cognitive dissonance, and "explain our report card" to ourselves.
Metaphorically, they were "destroyed" -- a new self emerged.
Maybe the author will offer clarification.