Netherswell - By Jack Cummins

Caldwell December 28, 2022 at 01:52 825 views 14 comments
We crowded into the huge manor and tea was ready. I began munching cheese and tomato sandwiches, having not eaten the ghastly meat stew school dinner. Tim said, 'The sandwiches are gone. I only had one quarter.' I had seven. No one noticed because they had been devouring crisps. I kept a guilty silence.

The teachers liked my tadpole drawings but I felt so cold beside the pond. My ears ached. The next day I felt shivery and unable to get out of bed. Mr Kant took my temperature, 'You have a fever.' I was moved to the teachers' dormitory, wearing my Kung Fu pyjamas.

The week seemed an eternity and I was relieved to go home. I felt the teachers had a grudge against me forever. It was a dawning realisation of not blending and always standing out like a red, ugly, inflamed thumb.

Comments (14)

Caldwell December 28, 2022 at 02:06 #767001
Quoting Caldwell
I felt the teachers had a grudge against me forever. It was a dawning realisation of not blending and always standing out like a red, ugly, inflamed thumb.

This came out of the blue for me.
Our hero needs to give us more hint to warrant this thought about "grudge against me forever". Just a small, important detail does it.
I like it that the process of drawing the tadpole was live, instead of copying from a picture.
Hanover December 28, 2022 at 04:21 #767048
This felt like a fragmented memory of the unpleasantness of boarding school with disjointed but significant recollections supporting the feeling of lack of belonging and limited warmth.

If it were a longer story, it would have suffered from too many details, but as it was, a got the gist, or geist, as it were.

I remember a similar feeling in grammar school, where the art teacher thought me creative and interesting, but most others just as a cut up. I think that bothered them more than me though.
Amity December 28, 2022 at 21:07 #767206
Netherswell

Well. I had no idea this was a real place. Netherswell Manor in Bedfordshire.
What a pity the trip described by the author was less than happy :fear:

Quoting Bedfordshire Live - the school trips everyone will remember
Some of our finest memories stem from school trips that we experienced during our childhood.
Reminiscing about your favourite trips can bring back many joyous feelings and help return you to a state of childlike innocence.
From everyone bundling onto a coach to get the best seats to the special packed lunches filled with sandwiches, cheese strings, and Capri suns. It was definitely the highlight of any school year.
[...]
"Netherswell Manor. Everyone said it was haunted and we woke up to baby's footprints all over the windows!!"


Quoting Caldwell
Tim said, 'The sandwiches are gone. I only had one quarter.' I had seven. No one noticed because they had been devouring crisps. I kept a guilty silence.


I bet Tim did notice as he complained he only had a quarter of one. Already, there is a difference. The comparison/judgements being made as to the other children. The hero is feeling shame...but keeps it all inside. No sense of camaraderie.

A good artist but not one for en plein air. A weak and fragile child with his own grudge for being forced to be somewhere he felt out of place, cold and hungry. The illness. Is it real or psychosomatic?
He was transferred to a better place - to the teachers' dorm.

Kung Fu pyjamas. Were they commonly worn or was this another difference?

I can imagine a week being an eternity, especially if suffering from homesickness.

He perceived the teachers as having a grudge against him forever.
Well, they would, wouldn't they?!
A sickly child sharing their dorm. No :party: parties for them, poor dears. It would seem like eternal damnation to them too! Mr. Kant...hmm...

Quoting Caldwell
It was a dawning realisation of not blending and always standing out like a red, ugly, inflamed thumb.


This surprised me. I had thought that this realisation would have been earlier. Though perhaps more concentrated and obvious in the circumstances. No escape home at the end of the day.
'A red, ugly, inflamed thumb' - the result of comfort sucking? A response to stress and anxiety.

***

I like this story. It feels real; a bad memory shared. Childhood can be a miserable time. Not all are able to join in. Unlike the hearty, joyful experience of being part of a group, there is no desire to reminisce.

Thanks, author. Whether it was real to you or not, you painted a painful perspective perfectly!

Jack Cummins December 29, 2022 at 07:30 #767318
Reply to Caldwell
Perhaps, the narrator is just feeling sorry for himself. He had been greedy, eating more than his share of the sandwiches, after not wanting his dinner. The question may be whether he is sickly or attention seeking, getting sick and having to be moved to the teachers' dormitory and lying in bed in his kung fu pyjamas. The question may be do you have sympathy for him or loathe him, especially when he winges that the teachers have a grudge against him after he messed up the week? I am not sure that I like him.
Vera Mont December 29, 2022 at 16:12 #767435
The child is not likeable, but he is troubled. I get the notion he may have been spoiled and overprotected and then suddenly sent off to a boarding school where the demands are more stringent and he's not special. So he spoils himself and makes himself special, but it's a negative attention and doesn't meet with approval.
BC December 29, 2022 at 17:26 #767447
Reply to Hanover Gist and Geist - nice words. Geist / Ghost. A German word for gist is Hauptpunkt, which has a nice sound and typographical appearance.
Hanover December 29, 2022 at 18:40 #767460
Quoting Bitter Crank
Gist and Geist - nice words.


They're interesting in similar meanings in the sense to get the gist is to understand the spirit of the thing, yet the etymology of gist (French/Romance) references the ground, as if to understand the underlying structure of the thing.

Curious how one references the ground (the earth) and the other the spirit (the heavens) (geist/ghost) (German/Germanic) yet the similar meanings.

My suspicion is a common Indo-European root.

Still, I like that the heavens are found in the grounds. Look at your feet (your ability) for God, not the skies (God's intervention). I like that thought.

Deep thoughts right?
BC December 29, 2022 at 20:47 #767489
Reply to Hanover Oh, very deep.
Caldwell December 30, 2022 at 02:28 #767588
Quoting Jack Cummins
Perhaps, the narrator is just feeling sorry for himself. He had been greedy, eating more than his share of the sandwiches, after not wanting his dinner. The question may be whether he is sickly or attention seeking, getting sick and having to be moved to the teachers' dormitory and lying in bed in his kung fu pyjamas. The question may be do you have sympathy for him or loathe him, especially when he winges that the teachers have a grudge against him after he messed up the week? I am not sure that I like him.

I don't dislike him (I'm assuming our hero is a he). I think his outlook of himself was harsher than how the people around him viewed him. This is all his thoughts full of negativity. I was delighted to read he drew a tadpole by the pond. haha.

Also, eccentricity is not a strange thing to me, so the description is not a problem. lol. :cool:
Jack Cummins December 30, 2022 at 04:07 #767604
Reply to Caldwell
It may be an example of an unreliable narrator because a person's perceptions of what is happening, especially of others' opinions, can be extremely distorted.
Jack Cummins January 01, 2023 at 03:36 #768162
Reply to Amity
Thank you for your extremely detailed analysis. It was a disastrous week. I felt really miserable about having to go be in the teachers' dormitory because I wanted to be with my friends. As for whether the illness was psychosomatic, it probably was not entirely that because I had an ear infection. A teacher had to get me to a doctor and I was given antibiotics. However, I did see a link between the illness and feeling guilty over eating too many sandwiches. It was probably the fact that I didn't admit to it, but, of course, once I had eaten them I couldn't uneat them. Generally, after the first meal I barely ate anything for the rest of the week.

You queried whether others had Kung Fu pyjamas and no one else did. They were unusual because they were like a Kung Fu outfit but with designs of Kung Fu fighters printed on them. When I went back to school the next week a friend thought it strange seeing me in uniform rather than the pyjamas.

I see your looked up Netherswell and it is a place where so many school groups went. The good thing was that a few years later I did go back there for an art weekend and I did enjoy it the second time, which made up for the first experience.
Noble Dust January 01, 2023 at 03:55 #768170
Reply to Jack Cummins

I think I read this one on limited sleep, as when I re-read it now I find I like it a lot. I really like the economy of language, and there's a really deft flow of events, like here:

Quoting Caldwell
The teachers liked my tadpole drawings but I felt so cold beside the pond. My ears ached. The next day I felt shivery and unable to get out of bed.


I found that really well done within the 200 word limit.

I also find it interesting that most of your stories seem to blur the line between fiction and non-fiction, based on your own descriptions of them. You seem to find plenty of material in your own life for stories, which I like. Most of mine have some degree of autobiography, but not to this extent, if I understand you correctly. It's a unique approach.
Amity January 01, 2023 at 10:03 #768217
Appreciate you sharing the facts behind the fiction :up:

Quoting Jack Cummins
I see your looked up Netherswell and it is a place where so many school groups went. The good thing was that a few years later I did go back there for an art weekend and I did enjoy it the second time, which made up for the first experience.


Yes. I tend to look at a title first to glean any clues.
This time it paid off. It looks quite magnificent. Really glad you enjoyed the art weekend.
The tadpoles now all growed up...
0 thru 9 January 01, 2023 at 16:38 #768276
Great job! :up: Seems to accurately reflect a part of childhood that is part dream, part nightmare... just my impression.