Saying Nothing by Janus
So say
the world is soft today
soft like wings
like flying like freedom
the soft mind of
anything might happen
mountains are for climbing
but not today
the idea is to be
approached softly,
and then it's gone
faded into the soft darkness
of distance
running like water
into the day
into the night
into the dark
into the light
into the mind of birds
the heart of the snake
the paws and teeth
of the pack
into the scent trails
crisscrossing the land
yielding as the imagination
in the face of the Real
in the face of chaos
and decay, leaving
it all behind
today
where does it land?
is it a soft
landing?
Is there anything
in the softness
left standing?
Say theres still a need to find
somewhere
to begin
somewhere
which is nowhere
else it be a means
or worse
an end
Or a need to go
somewhere
to see
somewhere
which is everywhere
in some sense
or else there be a separation
that cannot mend
Like a hologram
every part the whole
somewhere is
everywhere
and nowhere
north is in the south
the ground is in the apex
of the pole
So...nothing to say
and so little time
to say it
say nothing then
it will not hurt
say nothing till
youre under dirt
and then the nothing
you will no longer say
will be nothing
in another way
the world is soft today
soft like wings
like flying like freedom
the soft mind of
anything might happen
mountains are for climbing
but not today
the idea is to be
approached softly,
and then it's gone
faded into the soft darkness
of distance
running like water
into the day
into the night
into the dark
into the light
into the mind of birds
the heart of the snake
the paws and teeth
of the pack
into the scent trails
crisscrossing the land
yielding as the imagination
in the face of the Real
in the face of chaos
and decay, leaving
it all behind
today
where does it land?
is it a soft
landing?
Is there anything
in the softness
left standing?
Say theres still a need to find
somewhere
to begin
somewhere
which is nowhere
else it be a means
or worse
an end
Or a need to go
somewhere
to see
somewhere
which is everywhere
in some sense
or else there be a separation
that cannot mend
Like a hologram
every part the whole
somewhere is
everywhere
and nowhere
north is in the south
the ground is in the apex
of the pole
So...nothing to say
and so little time
to say it
say nothing then
it will not hurt
say nothing till
youre under dirt
and then the nothing
you will no longer say
will be nothing
in another way
Comments (20)
These two verses are tremendous. They are the best, or at least, most important in the poem. You have to read this one very carefully and slowly. To me, all of these verses are related to the final seconds previous death and then the omnipresence of being everywhere afterwards.
It is NO FAULT OF THE POEM but I had to quit halfway through. It was too long for me. Poetry is not easy to write, it is not easy to read, it is something that needs focused attention, and of that I have very little to give.
Again, the fault is with me for not reading it to the end, but then again, I can't give an honest opinion on then, eh?
The three likes in the first paragraph were jarring and unnecessary. I'd rewrite.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the hologram which doesn't evoke the imagery in the subsequent lines for me but I like things not being on the nose.
@Benkei, I find it actually functional -- it explains further, which helps the readers. If I could make a change, it would be that I would make a line break and continue the "like freedom" below it. That is, I wouldn't make them appear on the same line. But that's just me.
I like the poem. The first two verses are great. Then the third changes to a chant-like dialogue, mimicking the movement of water, I guess. With a quick, slow or smooth pace.
(I'm not crazy about the hologram)
The poem ends with the last three verses that flow smoothly.
If you read the poem to yourself, a bit louder than under your breath, with breaks in your utterance (how you want it), it works really well.
Overall, good job!
Quoting Caldwell
Ha, I was suspecting this might be the case! But this is what we need in this "activity"; discussion feels a bit slow on the upstart. Let's argue! *fists up* You want flow and I don't want it, eh? Is that right? What are you after? In poetry.
I walked in late on a classical concert once, missing the program. In the break I said "I hope that composer died young because that was fucking boring". It was a relatively unknown piece from Mozart but derivative as hell.
I dunno if it'd use that as my guidepost or not for poetry, but I think I agree.
Quoting Benkei
I'll give a soft agree as I think you're technically correct here.
Quoting Benkei
I assume this is a joke.
Nope. True story. Mozart wrote some crap in his time too. We can't bat a 100. Or however the US saying goes.
:pray: :heart: :sparkle:
So, let's say or imagine that today the world is soft instead of hard and determined.
Possibilities are in the air.
***
Quoting Caldwell
What is the purpose of mountains? What kind of mountains? Those made out of molehills?
Or by the deepest of thinkers.
Mountains of the mind. Challenging thoughts, that can twist and torture. Or obstruct.
Not for today.
The idea is to be flexible; relaxed and breathing into the moment...
***
Quoting Caldwell
Fading into the soft darkness of distance...flowing free like a slow, gentle waterfall.
Transitioning time and moods. Into everything.
***
Quoting Caldwell
Let's say a need remains to start with nothing, no place. Can we have a blank slate to be free to go where we will. Or is our life already spoken for. From nowhere to nowhere.
***
Quoting Caldwell
A despairing existential crisis? Or simple acceptance of the brief time (left) on earth.
Quoting Caldwell
Why or who won't it hurt, if nothing is said when alive?
The poet-philosopher? Is there a dangerous idea.
So write but in secret and keep hidden until there can be no repercussions.
Quoting Caldwell
Quoting Caldwell
Thanks. That did work very well.
A quietening down...to nothing. Silence. Saying Nothing.
'Saying Nothing' is not an option, ya' hear?!
Thanks Amity, the appreciation is appreciated. I wish I could have contributed more to the literary discussions and feedback, but I've been really busy preparing paintings for an exhibition and trying to keep up maintenance on the rural property where I live.
I enjoyed your analysis. :smile: