god must be atheistAugust 06, 2023 at 07:23#8274900 likes
Excellent! Full of emotion, and sentimental, melancholic nostalgia. My favourite feelings; I cry when I sense that mood, and the crying the tears bring sweetness, despite the sadness and tragedy. A comforting feeling in time of sadness.
Not my cup of tea. And derivative enough that I'm certain I read this, or something very much like it, before. In other words, I didn't feel something new.
This seems like a proper haiku, although I can't say I'm that enamored with the style, at least nowhere near as much as some are. I'll give it a positive vote because I think it does what it's supposed to.
Dahlias blooming!
Another year that I
remember my dog.
Seasonal and colourful flowers cut for bouquets or flower-arranging.
The exclamation mark makes me wanna go 'YAY' but some go deep with a 'NAY. OK. Why?
The anniversary of the death or absence of a dog? Or it just so happens that it brings up fond memories of the dog dashing about and destroying the owner's floral display. Just before a Prize-winning festival.
Hah.
Perhaps the owner is now a resident in a Nursing Home; animals are not allowed. Shame. Downvote.
The dog has more fun now with a young thing...Upvote.
Oh, I forgot you're not supposed to think about a haiku; simply feel.
OK then, I feel good! Happy memories :cool:
I upvoted this poem. The only thing I would change is to remove the poet's self-referencing "I"-- he/she can reflect on what was once a loved companion like a snap shot, a photograph in which the photographer is never in the scene but certainly the one who captures the moment.
The only thing I would change is to remove the poet's self-referencing "I"-- he/she can reflect on what was once a loved companion like a snap shot, a photograph in which the photographer is never in the scene but certainly the one who captures the moment.
Excellent observation. When I look at the small black and whites of older generations, I wonder who held the camera and was out of the picture but still part of it.
Do the snaps reflect their feelings and emotions or was it just for the record? A moment in time.
Fun times but their lives weren't always like that. So, a bit false in a way.
Just like the brief memorials or tributes to the dead, capturing the highlights.
Can you imagine keeping a personal diary full of haikus for every special moment experienced.
Along with some pics. @javi2541997 - do you know of any collections like that?
Can you imagine keeping a personal diary full of haikus for every special moment experienced.
Along with some pics.
@javi2541997 - do you know of any collections like that?
Yes. Santoka Taneda wrote all of his 8,400 haikus as a diary. Despite his haikus do not conform the average formal rules, he is famous for representing his life experiences traveling all over Japan. He even lived in extreme scarcity and sometimes needed charity to survive.
Sant?ka died because of alcoholism and he has never been aware about the importance of his haikus. Nevertheless, he is one of the most famous Japanese poets in the modern Japan!
Reply to Amity I think Sant?ka was just pure talent. The drinking was accessory. When someone knows the tricks, the rabbit will always leave from the hat. :wink:
When someone knows the tricks, the rabbit will always leave from the hat
Ah yes, magical moments.
I have no idea of the magic behind the Zappai trick but it seems that what tripped out was OK-ish.
Thanks again.
Jack CumminsAugust 17, 2023 at 15:52#8313460 likes
I struggle a little with haiku but I guess this works as a diary recollection. The main image is of delilah flowers. The link is a little unclear but my interpretation is that the dog is probably remembered in bloom and it is likely that the dog is sick or dead.
I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window
I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind
She was my woman
As she deceived me, I watched and went out of my mind
My, my, my, Delilah
Why, why, why, Delilah
I could see, that girl was no good for me
But I was lost like a slave that no man could free
At break of day when that man drove away, I was waiting
I crossed the street to her house and she opened the door
She stood there laughing
I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more
My, my, my, Delilah
Why, why, why, Delilah
So before they come to break down the door
Forgive me Delilah, I just couldn't take anymore
She stood there laughing
I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more...
December 1967. Before your time?
Jack CumminsAugust 17, 2023 at 16:48#8313640 likes
Reply to Amity
I do know the song, but I am not a Tom Jones fan so it never came into my mind. However, it does add another dimension to the interpretation.
I would have liked the dog's name rather than "my dog". When I think of that drive to the Maritimes, or notice the old leather pouch full of dog leashes and collars, and sometimes even when I just open the rear door of the car absent of mind, I remember Daisy.
I would have liked the dog's name rather than "my dog". When I think of that drive to the Maritimes, or notice the old leather pouch full of dog leashes and collars, and sometimes even when I just open the rear door of the car absent of mind, I remember Daisy.
Yes. I agree. The self-referential elements-- "I" and "my" have to be modified so that the poet's capturing the moment -- as haikus are about moments in time -- is presented as having this space or gap between the poet (observer) and what was captured.
Reply to Caldwell
The poetic side of it had not occurred to me. What bothered me was the anonymity of the one being evoked. I remember a necklace I was fond of and lost, but it was just an object; it's not the same kind of nostalgia I feel for a cherished companion, who had a distinct personality.
Let me explain what is this about. This is a senry?. There is a lot of melancholy and pain mixed up with the nature. A real haiku is not forced by the sadness of the author but I must admit that I wasn't capable of controlling myself when I wrote this...
I am pleased that it received good recognition from the users. I think it's a lovely memory. I also want to recognize the interest of @Amity in the Haiku world.
I've read and admired many haiku, but have never before taken to heart the rules of the form. The ones I've written did not comply. But I like the economy of words. I may try to do it properly... in winter, when melancholy comes naturally.
Let me explain what is this about. This is a senry?. There is a lot of melancholy and pain mixed up with the nature. A real haiku is not forced by the sadness of the author but I must admit that I wasn't capable of controlling myself when I wrote this...
I am pleased that it received good recognition from the users. I think it's a lovely memory. I also want to recognize the interest of Amity in the Haiku world.
Thank you for the explanation. As before, I apologise for my interpretation opposite to your expressed feeling of sadness. But that is how I felt at the time. Or so I thought. Perhaps I was playing the devil, deliberately looking for an alternative.
Unlike @Tobias, who has a different reading style, I accept the author's intentions, even as I believe that there can be many interpretations of a story.
After an explanation, I would not claim that I have as much right to my feelings as the author's authentic expression. I think a poem, particularly a haiku such as yours, brings a special quality to a 'story' and should be given respect. Yours is not fiction (imagined) it is real (actual).
To continue exploring a totally different perspective, I think detracts from the author and their powerful feelings. Their need to express deep issues or emotions in a few lines.
Again, I thank you for this and the introduction to 'senryu'.
https://www.britannica.com/art/senryu
Thank you for your kindness, Amity. I appreciate your effort and commitment to commenting on each story and poem, not just mine. Your attitude motivates me to participate in the next literary activity (in December, I guess). It's unfair that certain entries receive more attention than others at times. I don't force anyone to read and comment, but I believe that every author deserves a bit of recognition.
Reply to javi2541997
Well, you know if it hadn't been for your inspiration, then I wouldn't have participated in this at all.
I can't thank you enough for that change in my attitude.
Also your ongoing enthusiasm and commitment to this event. It is, as you say, a worthwhile endeavour.
Also your ongoing enthusiasm and commitment to this event. It is, as you say, a worthwhile endeavour.
Exactly. I already said it a few weeks ago, but I would like to repeat the importance of this activity for a non-native speaker as I. It helps a lot in terms of proofreading and grammar. It also helps to read with more fluency.
Comments (30)
Grief, well handled by one's own sentiments.
Beautiful haiku.
It's a sad haiku.
Seasonal and colourful flowers cut for bouquets or flower-arranging.
The exclamation mark makes me wanna go 'YAY' but some go deep with a 'NAY. OK. Why?
The anniversary of the death or absence of a dog? Or it just so happens that it brings up fond memories of the dog dashing about and destroying the owner's floral display. Just before a Prize-winning festival.
Hah.
Perhaps the owner is now a resident in a Nursing Home; animals are not allowed. Shame. Downvote.
The dog has more fun now with a young thing...Upvote.
Oh, I forgot you're not supposed to think about a haiku; simply feel.
OK then, I feel good! Happy memories :cool:
I voted Yay.
Sincere apologies and condolences to the poet if I totally screwed up my empathy vibes :worry:
Excellent observation. When I look at the small black and whites of older generations, I wonder who held the camera and was out of the picture but still part of it.
Do the snaps reflect their feelings and emotions or was it just for the record? A moment in time.
Fun times but their lives weren't always like that. So, a bit false in a way.
Just like the brief memorials or tributes to the dead, capturing the highlights.
Can you imagine keeping a personal diary full of haikus for every special moment experienced.
Along with some pics.
@javi2541997 - do you know of any collections like that?
Yes. Santoka Taneda wrote all of his 8,400 haikus as a diary. Despite his haikus do not conform the average formal rules, he is famous for representing his life experiences traveling all over Japan. He even lived in extreme scarcity and sometimes needed charity to survive.
Sant?ka died because of alcoholism and he has never been aware about the importance of his haikus. Nevertheless, he is one of the most famous Japanese poets in the modern Japan!
Thank you. 8,400 haikus as a diary. That's astounding. The power of drink?
A haiku a day
Sobering moments
Senses at play
Quoting Amity
Nice Zappai! I liked it :up:
If you say so!
Quoting javi2541997
Ah yes, magical moments.
I have no idea of the magic behind the Zappai trick but it seems that what tripped out was OK-ish.
Thanks again.
Quoting Jack Cummins
What about Tom Jones's soulful ballad 'Delilah'?!
December 1967. Before your time?
I do know the song, but I am not a Tom Jones fan so it never came into my mind. However, it does add another dimension to the interpretation.
Yes. I agree. The self-referential elements-- "I" and "my" have to be modified so that the poet's capturing the moment -- as haikus are about moments in time -- is presented as having this space or gap between the poet (observer) and what was captured.
The poetic side of it had not occurred to me. What bothered me was the anonymity of the one being evoked. I remember a necklace I was fond of and lost, but it was just an object; it's not the same kind of nostalgia I feel for a cherished companion, who had a distinct personality.
Dear Vera, thans for commenting on my haiku too.
Let me explain what is this about. This is a senry?. There is a lot of melancholy and pain mixed up with the nature. A real haiku is not forced by the sadness of the author but I must admit that I wasn't capable of controlling myself when I wrote this...
I am pleased that it received good recognition from the users. I think it's a lovely memory. I also want to recognize the interest of @Amity in the Haiku world.
Yes. It captures the simplicity and truth of the moment of melancholy. Congratulations!
Thank you for the explanation. As before, I apologise for my interpretation opposite to your expressed feeling of sadness. But that is how I felt at the time. Or so I thought. Perhaps I was playing the devil, deliberately looking for an alternative.
Unlike @Tobias, who has a different reading style, I accept the author's intentions, even as I believe that there can be many interpretations of a story.
After an explanation, I would not claim that I have as much right to my feelings as the author's authentic expression. I think a poem, particularly a haiku such as yours, brings a special quality to a 'story' and should be given respect. Yours is not fiction (imagined) it is real (actual).
To continue exploring a totally different perspective, I think detracts from the author and their powerful feelings. Their need to express deep issues or emotions in a few lines.
Again, I thank you for this and the introduction to 'senryu'.
https://www.britannica.com/art/senryu
I look forward to reading more.
Thank you for your kindness, Amity. I appreciate your effort and commitment to commenting on each story and poem, not just mine. Your attitude motivates me to participate in the next literary activity (in December, I guess). It's unfair that certain entries receive more attention than others at times. I don't force anyone to read and comment, but I believe that every author deserves a bit of recognition.
Well, you know if it hadn't been for your inspiration, then I wouldn't have participated in this at all.
I can't thank you enough for that change in my attitude.
Also your ongoing enthusiasm and commitment to this event. It is, as you say, a worthwhile endeavour.
Exactly. I already said it a few weeks ago, but I would like to repeat the importance of this activity for a non-native speaker as I. It helps a lot in terms of proofreading and grammar. It also helps to read with more fluency.