Bad Faith
This has nothing to do with that American hardcore-punk band from Austin, Texas, but Sartre was really onto something when he coined the concept Bad Faith.
To paraphrase, Bad faith arises when individuals attempt to escape the burden of this radical freedom by denying their own capacity for choice.
It hit home to me this week in a very personal way.
After twenty years of marriage, I know I have been living in bad faith. I havent felt connected, loved, wanted or needed for years. Im sure my partner would say the same. Shes busy, Im busy, we dont click, and maybe, we never did.
Do we go on living in bad faith and deny the issues for the sake of not ending this thing? Or is that worse than having bad faith in ourselves? Id say its worse. But living in bad faith means never being honest with yourself, and of course, others, significant others. Is that a life?
Im not looking for advice, but simply to say that, maybe, philosophy, does not work in real situations. Or, maybe it work too well? Is philosophy the real truth-teller?
Rob
To paraphrase, Bad faith arises when individuals attempt to escape the burden of this radical freedom by denying their own capacity for choice.
It hit home to me this week in a very personal way.
After twenty years of marriage, I know I have been living in bad faith. I havent felt connected, loved, wanted or needed for years. Im sure my partner would say the same. Shes busy, Im busy, we dont click, and maybe, we never did.
Do we go on living in bad faith and deny the issues for the sake of not ending this thing? Or is that worse than having bad faith in ourselves? Id say its worse. But living in bad faith means never being honest with yourself, and of course, others, significant others. Is that a life?
Im not looking for advice, but simply to say that, maybe, philosophy, does not work in real situations. Or, maybe it work too well? Is philosophy the real truth-teller?
Rob
Comments (8)
My experience with ending a long term relationship was that I died halfway through it. I'm somebody else now. It was pretty bloody, too, in a poetic way. Wanting to change is the sickness unto death.
Philosophy is not a problem solver, it is a way of think that can be used to solve problems.
Any union of people in bad faith, whether a job, club or marriage is bad for your mental health.
Give it up and find something that that will make life pleasant.
Yes, exactly.
It's not clear to me if you want to discuss whether Sartre's idea of bad faith is a good way at looking at freedom and responsibility (Hint - no, it's selfish, lazy, and irresponsible). If that's not what you're looking for, I'll leave it at that.
As I see it, none of that has anything to do with your personal situation. How can doing something because some philosopher might think you should be an act of radical freedom? You don't owe Sartre anything. You also can't use him to get you off the hook for a personal decision.
If you define bad faith some other way, where interests are weighed, like believing the preservation of the marriage matters or the intersts of the children (if any) ought be weighed, then it's not necessarily bad faith to withhold information.
But, as others have said, this isn't advice. It's analytic philosophy, working with terms and definitions.
Talk to a therapist. I'd love to tell you that there's a principle that honesty at all costs, damn the torpedoes, is always in order as a matter of obligation. That would then clean up all the messiness of figuring out what your highly particularized situation demands.
Unfortunately though, life is too complicated for an easy answer.
The fact is while your reality is worse than your estimation of "optimal", it's better than your estimation of what divorce has to offer, otherwise you guys would be moving towards divorce, but you're not.