Should I get with my teacher?

Am in college btw if that changes anything.

Quoting Zolenskify

Is what it sounds like, nothing to nsfw, but maybe just some coffee?

You and I know what will happen after that coffee. :smirk:

By the way, why do you want to get with your teacher? It seems that you feel attracted to her a priori.
 

No.

Keep a professional distance. There is a duty of care, a duty of justice, and fair and equal treatment, and these would be compromised by such a relationship. It would compromise your teacher, threaten their career, and undermine your achievements as a student.

Most schools have a policy prohibiting a relationship with a student that goes beyond coffee,but it happens. Since it is your teacher who must deal with the consequences of violating the rules it is the teacher who should make the decision.

Quoting unenlightened

No.

Keep a professional distance. There is a duty of care, a duty of justice, and fair and equal treatment, and these would be compromised by such a relationship. It would compromise your teacher, threaten their career, and undermine your achievements as a student.

Correct. Transfer to another teacher. Then get the coffee.

Depends on what "get with" means. After my first divorce one of my mature students showed up on the front row with an apple on her desk. Later that day she popped into my office. I asked "Where is my apple?". She said, "I ate it". We were happily married for 33 years.

Quoting jgill

"Where is my apple?". She said, "I ate it". We were happily married for 33 years.

I thought -- 'Mate, I don't recall reading that passage of Adam and Eve in the Bible'. :razz:

We have to never disregard the power of an apple. That's why I had one painted by Dali as a profile pic.

Reply to javi2541997 :rofl:

Reply to jgill

A charming story but if this were to happen today you might have ended up in trouble with the administration.
When I was in school this was not at all uncommon. What changed?

After the courts found in the 1990s that universities could be financially liable for sexual harassment, many institutions — among them, the University of California and Yale — adopted formal policies forbidding sexual or romantic relationships between faculty and students.

From New York Times:New Harvard Policy Bans Teacher-Student Relations

It depends.

Reply to Zolenskify :smirk: Well ...

... a student's pov:

https://youtu.be/7grUgixqH8I?si=7SxW3vFpDEV2X9Rg

or a teacher's pov:

https://youtu.be/ITnL7-2RwUQ?si=RaALyxM10i0c95Hs

I think this the wrong place to discuss this. I think you want reddit.com/r/getting with teacher.

Quoting T Clark

I think this the wrong place to discuss this. I think you want reddit.com/r/getting with teacher.

Yeah, I don’t really understand the reason for it here. This is too personal for a discussion like this. Sure, it can be philosophical, but then make it so, not some advice as no one here can advice the specifics of case to case morality that has consequences beyond the theoretical.

Reply to Christoffer and Reply to T Clark This sentiment is valid and, because of this, I must clarify; I would never encroach on another's autonomy to communicate with complete strangers online, while simultaneously expecting them to act a certain way. How our conversations over the internet can become quickly misconstrued. Luckily, with as opaque as our understanding of one another can be, in return we happen upon the most insightful of thoughts, completely by chance at times. So, to have our own understanding of things is not enough. There are now more tools for humans to work with. Its now a matter of recognizing how each others' view of life helps us move forward, not the other way around. We accept the fact that, say, we're not super talented, or funny, or attractive, or... you get the idea. It doesn't matter, because any question we have can be answered so quickly, our goal - as intellectuals - shifts from how much to what kind of knowledge we equip ourselves with. For instance, our issue; I'm here, addressing your point just hours after the fact. But how many of us are already on to totally different topics and interests by now by virtue of just life in general? I look at this forum while I'm on my lunch break at work, learning alongside others who spend many hours at a time on here (not to say you can't work and spend hours on here, but I think you get me.) There is an obvious and rather cumbersome difference in attention spans on online forums that leads to no serious discussion. So, yeah, take things as personally as you think you need to. But don't demand others do the same. At any rate, the fix was as simple as rewording my inquiry: considering the dynamic that comes with mentor-natured relationships, is it moral to get with a teacher versus an actual professor?

Quoting Zolenskify

is it moral to get with a teacher versus an actual professor?

A professor is not a teacher? I assume you mean pre-college instructor.

Sorry, but this thread is a joke. Have a chuckle and move on.

Quoting Zolenskify

At any rate, the fix was as simple as rewording my inquiry: considering the dynamic that comes with mentor-natured relationships, is it moral to get with a teacher versus an actual professor?

Yes, that is better for this forum. Some questions 1) Would the relationship be exploitive? 2) Would the relationship appear to be exploitive? 3) What are the rules at your institution? and the question always to ask 4) What could possibly go wrong.

Reply to T Clark I see things exactly the same way. Now that I reflect on it, my reply was directed at the other fellow. Sorry about that.

Quoting jgill

Sorry, but this thread is a joke. Have a chuckle and move on.

Reply to jgill Well, hang on a second. Didn't you mention a somewhat ironic situation where this happened to you?


Unless, you are joking, in which case that is actually kind of funny.
Quoting jgill

A professor is not a teacher? I assume you mean pre-college instructor.

Who said anything about a "pre-college instructor"?

Please, clear the air for me if I offended you.

Reply to 180 Proof tru

Reply to javi2541997 I don't know man, I guess these thoughts just pop into my head while I'm surfing and need some insight. What happens is I fall when trying to land my pop up and I just totally get wiped. Case like that a few times and you're done done. Especially when its big and cold. Maryland is mostly where I do my surfing, so it's getting chilly; not gonna make it if I eat it too many times man. But I digress, right now I have to pick between going out with this one girl or a chance to catch a nice swell; so, I have my work cut out for me.

Quoting Zolenskify

A professor is not a teacher? I assume you mean pre-college instructor. — jgill

Who said anything about a "pre-college instructor"?
Please, clear the air for me if I offended you.

Quoting Zolenskify

. . . is it moral to get with a teacher versus an actual professor?

No offense. Sorry if I mistook a serious OP for a bit of humor.

Quoting T Clark

and the question always to ask 4) What could possibly go wrong.

:chin:

Quoting Zolenskify

But I digress, right now I have to pick between going out with this one girl or a chance to catch a nice swell; so, I have my work cut out for me.

If I were you, I would go surfing and catch a nice swell. Look mate, I am from Madrid and my city has no access to the sea, but I understand how it feels to have the sea near you when I go to Barcelona or A Coruña often. I know it is a special feeling. It seems that you feel chilled when you are in the waves; then, you have to ask yourself if you would feel the same way getting your teacher to drink a coffee with you. It might be everything in your head; you have to be strong, man. I know it is difficult, but I think you are knocking on the wrong door. Why don't you try going out with a girl who also loves surfing like you?

Reply to javi2541997 Brother, already on to a different girl man; the teacher is old news. This other one does in fact like the beach she said, so it might work out super chill. Who knows though.

Reply to jgill Okay, I'm officially lost. As if the obvious needed to be stated, this thread is a joke; no rational person would consult an online forum of total strangers for advice on hooking up with a teacher. Unless of course the individual was so naïve to the ways of the internet, that - despite them being rational - they may see a potential issue with getting with their teacher, so they consult the internet for help. Though, as we all know, we can be led down some rather unfavorable paths taking advice from strangers online. Where the humor resolves is when I inevitably take some of the (obviously joking) advice of some responders, and end up in a bind: because it is clearly wrong to get with your teacher.

Quoting Zolenskify

Brother, already on to a different girl man; the teacher is old news. This other one does in fact like the beach she said, so it might work out super chill. Who knows though.

Glad to know! Stop faffing around, and have a coffee with that girl! :up:

Quoting Zolenskify

already on to a different girl man; the teacher is old news. This other one does in fact like the beach she said, so it might work out super chill. Who knows though

:up: