Who are you, God?

Quoting Almafuerte

[i]Sentir indiano en mi corazón
cancion ha parido.
Para el que siente o quiere sentir,
orgullo nativo

Del malinche es la maldición
de huinca el gualicho
Del Dios blanco el terrorismo,
Satanás y Cristo

Madre tierra, padre sol.
ni demonio, ni señor.
Pareciera más coherente
adorarlos nuevamente.

Que el engaño santurrón
de los muertos vivos.
Que este rumbo destructivo,
o el miedo al castigo.

Sentimiento indiano,
orgullo nativo.
Han parido este canto en el corazón mio.
Que exaltar tu origen
aborigen intenta.
Sangre nueva de la raza
que aún ser libre sueña.

Madre tierra, padre sol
Dioses vivos, hoy por hoy.
Grandes testigos silentes,
de la humanidad inconsciente.
Y su afán devorador de infierno y suplicio.
Del progreso bendecido por Dioses traidos.

Sentimiento indiano,
orgullo nativo.
Han parido este canto en el corazón mio.
Que exaltar tu origen
aborigen intenta.
Sangre nueva de la raza
que aún ser libre sueña.

Del malinche es la maldición
de huinca el gualicho
Del Dios blanco el terrorismo,
Satanás y Cristo

Sentimiento indiano,
orgullo nativo.
Han parido este canto en el corazón mio.
Que exaltar tu origen
aborigen intenta.
Sangre nueva de la raza
que aún ser libre sueña.[/i]

Quoting Arcane Sandwich

You are nowhere.
You are no one.

You do not exist.

GOD ON TRIAL

“Jehovah’s” trial for crimes
against humanity begins thusly, but ends well:

“Do you, God, swearest to tellest us
the whole truth and nothing but the truth,
so helpest you God?”

“Which scriptures of what bible should I swear on?
There are so many.”

“Oh; here’s a Mormon bible,
with a whole extra section
that was transcribed from
the golden plates You sent.”

“I didn’t send those plates.”

“OK, let’s not worry about that now;
We’ll come back to it later.
You are truthful, are you not?”

“I can do no evil, and that includes not lying.”

“Finally, a believable defendant.
What is your full name?”

“‘God Damnit’ is what I am usually called.”

“Ha-ha, but what is your real and proper name?”

“None. I am what I am.”

“Um, any aliases, like Lord, Jehovah,
Almighty, or such?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, those are just some names
that people call me, plus even very bad names.”

“But you do exist as you are?”

“Depends on what the meaning of ‘exists’ is.”

“You know, like ‘to be’, being One that is.”

“Depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is.”

“Is that your lawyer, Bill Clinton, sitting over there?”

“Yes, for he can get out of anything.”

“But is he going to talk endlessly in your defense?”

“No, for he has been going to ‘On and on anon’.”

“Good, now how come
we can hear you but we can’t see You?”

“I am invisible, plus, you are like schizophrenics.”

“Hey, no name calling, order in the court!”

“I’ll have a cheeseburger, no pickles, no onions.”

“That’s more like it.
So you mean we are just hearing voices?”

“Yes—do you remember the study
that showed that 17% percent of priests
are schizophrenic,
but only 1-2% of the general population is?”

“Oh, yeah; but You’re not getting off that easily.”

“I am innocent.”

“What did You do before You Created things?”

“I was being made Myself by Myself.”

“How did You do that?”

“Recursively.”

“OK, anyway, did you have intercourse
with a teen-age virgin?”

“Heck, no, she was underage;
I only date 30 billion years old women.”

“Still single?”

“Yes, for as Mr. Always Right
I just couldn't find Miss Perfect.”

“So, Jesus was not Your son then?”

“No, but he was a really good guy—
a human telling stories that everyone liked to hear.”

“But, anyway, you are a ‘He’?”

“So they usually say.”

“Don’t You know?”

“No, for humans created Me in their own image
and with their own traits, so I am male.”

“Are You jealous of any of their other imaginary gods?”

“I am above all that lowly human-type emotion stuff.
I am Perfectly Good and absolutely totally full of Love.”

“Love is a human emotion.”

“Yet that is the only emotion I have,
for it is the ultimate one.”

“So, You never do evil?”

“Depends on what ‘evil’ is.”

“Well, as in things like harming others,
except in self defense,
stifling the growth of mind,
and creating false ways of living,
arbitrarily, through use of imagination
of what the concept of good ‘should be’, absolutely.”

“I am not capable of evil. I detest evil.
I would hate Myself if I performed any evil. It is unthinkable.
Then I would be in the category of a devil.”

“Is there a Devil?”

“No, I would not tolerate any such thing,
for then it would sway humans to sin.”

“You appear to be without fault,
but we still have to continue this trial.”

“Thank you, but I have no-fault insurance.”

“Did You do away with almost
everyone on Earth with a Great Flood?”

“Heck no, human nature is exactly the way
it is supposed it to be, as is.
What do you think!
God not a big fat goof, that is,
if He was involved. He doesn’t make mistakes.”

“Some say that You invented the rainbow
to proclaim that You made a mistake,
indicating that You would never do it again.”

“Preposterous. Rainbows are an optical effect.”

“Do You of did You ever do anything wrong?”

“I can’t. I am all Love.”

“Did you give too much love, perhaps?”

“Yes, I give near infinite amounts,
but there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“What was the purpose of having dinosaurs
around for 650 million years,
then extincting them, via asteroids,
plus 95% of all the species?”

“Just playing around;
actually, I had nothing to do with it.”

“What was the Intelligent Design in this?”

“There wasn’t any, for God dos not exist. Can I go now?”

“No, we know that nonexistence trick.
Whose side are you on in football games?”

“I don’t take sides or play favorites.”

“Then where do humans get all these ideas about You?”

“You know humans—they just make things up.”

“Is there a Hell, like maybe in the heart of the sun?”

“No, there is no Hell.
I wouldn’t torture my beloved creatures
if I were God. Would you torture a kitten?”

“Some would, but, hey,
it is You who is on trial here, not us.
We only have our human nature
that You have given us and it can often go astray.”

“True, as to the human mammal recipe,
plus I am a nice Guy, the nicest ever.
I would not fill your cup to the brim
with temptations and then expect you not to spill it;
I’m a giver, not a taker. I don’t make trouble.
Pure love is all giving; there are no strings attached.”

“Thanks. Does our free will have to match your will”?

“Heavens no, for that wouldn’t be free will, would it?”

“So, there’s not even a purgatory, like somewhere on Venus?”

“Negative.”

“How do humans come up with all these things?
They make You out to be some kind
of strict enforcer father figure type.”

“That’s it; they modeled the family experience.”

“Is there a Heaven?”

“Yes.”

“Ah-ha, where is it?”

“On Earth. What more could human beings want?”

“Oh, well they want everything
and even think they are special and above all else,
some even above their own kind.”

“Nope, humans are just as organic
as anything else in nature. Anyone can see that.”

“Well, we have imagination.”

“Yes, a gift of Nature, but that’s all it is.”

“Did You publish a book?”

“Yes, but no, for ghost writers wrote one.”

“Any movies coming out?”

“No, it would be hard to beat ‘The Dark Knight’.”

“Were Commandments ever issued?”

“Love does not command; it frees.”

“That’s true.
So, You are innocent of all charges
and plead not guilty?”

“How many times do I have to tell you.
I am Absolute Good.”

“Ever tell a white lie?”

“No way, Jose. I am the Truth.”

“Ever peek at a naked person.”

“Of course, people are made that way.
If God didn’t want it that way,
they’d be born with clothes or fur.
Some fools even put fig leaves over Eden’s artwork.”

“I must confess to You, God,
that I sometimes think of people naked.”

“No sweat, plus that’s also a way
to make public speaking easier.
I am naked Myself. It’s OK.”

“Ever stick gum somewhere, when no one was looking?”

“No, for I was looking.”

“You are a saint!”

“Higher than that.
I am Perfect, at least before
I got conceited about it.”

“Ah-ha.”

“Just joking.”

“Did You make Cosmic Jokes,
like, in sexual human anatomy,
putting a toxic waste dump
near a recreation area?”

“God does have a sense of humor.”

“How come You didn’t give humans everything?”

“If I gave them everything,
they’d have no place to put it all.”

“A dictionary has ‘everything’.”

“In a way, plus Wikipedia is good, too.”

“How come birth certificates
have expiration dates, some even sooner than later?”

“They must, otherwise evolution wouldn’t work.”

“Did some monkey types descend from the trees?”

“Yes, for your DNA matches theirs 98%.”

“So, evolution is true, but not You as a Creator?”

“I keep telling you,
leaving signs all over the earth, you fossil to be.”

“You don’t rule or lord Yourself over anyone?”

“Love serves; love does not rule.”

“We have witnesses to some of your crimes.”

“No one can witness Me,
besides, they made all that up.”

“Likely story.
Did you choose a tribe and tell Moses
to crush some other tribes?”

“Those are just ancient Jewish legends,
along with some history.”

“How come Moses didn’t ask for directions
when he was lost for 40 years in the desert.”

“He’s a man; they never ask.”

“Ever let someone just make it
through a developing traffic accident?”

“What! And let some other poor sap
get hurt or die instead?
You don’t know Me very well.”

“So, You don’t write scripts
for our human soap operas.”

“No, for truth is stranger than fiction.”

“Why are You invisible?”

“I am a figment. Have faith.”

“What’s faith?”

“Belief in the invisible unseen unknown.”

“You can’t get off the hook that easily.
We can still try you in absencia.”

“I’m being very cooperative.”

“Thanks. Now, Mr. God, Sir,
Did you send a plague of locusts
to harm the welfare of humankind?”

“I wouldn’t think of it;
harmful options don’t even surface
in my mind for consideration.”

“No lightning bolts?”

“That was Mother Nature, not me.”

“Well, as you are a self-made Man,
then what stuff did You use to make
Yourself out of, plus all that is?”
“I didn’t make all that is;
I only made Myself
out of the fundamental stuff available;
then I accidentally made humankind
from the same stuff,
some debris that I threw out.”

“So, you are not at all responsible
for Mother Nature’s doings?”

“No, nor did I make the universe, for I am made of it.”

“You are not fundamental and absolute?”

“No, for a system of mind and emotion
like Mine or yours requires parts.
I am perfect, however.”

“That’s still a lofty position.”

“I am just fortunate to be as I am;
I never look down on anyone lesser;
My talent is a given;
I can’t even really take any credit.
I am just further along
in evolution than you are.
Cats, too, have reached a kind
of perfection for their form.”

“You evolved beyond the material plane?”

“Yes, I am pure waves and fields
and thus not seeable.
You all will get there someday, too.
I just helped you all along the path,
with only your best interests at heart.”

“We will all evolve to become Gods, eventually?”

“Certainly.”

“You don’t interfere in our world on Earth?”

“No, for then you would miss all the fun.
Knowing everything is not really that great.”

“There would be no surprises.”

“Exactly.”

“Do you overrule all or part of reality in any way?”

“No, I’m not bossy.”

“Do you underlie all or part of reality in any way?”

“Nope, as I said, I am in this universe
and therefore of this universe;
I am just higher up the food chain.”

“So, in our terms,
you are just a very powerful but loving alien.”

“That I am.
and if any hostile Ones approach me,
I will defend Myself.”

“Thanks, for that may help us too.”

“True, but you are all completely free to be and do.”

“How come You allow-give this to us?”

“It’s the greatest gift that Love can give.”

“Thanks, again.
You seem like a good Guy,
but we still have a few more questions,
plus, you know, we can’t really consider any gifts
that You gave to us when we make our ruling;
I hope you understand,
for we are often approached with bribes.”

“Money talks.”

“For me it just usually says ‘Goodbye’.”

“But when it returns you might say,
‘Hey, glad to see you; I’ve missed you;
where have you been all my life?”

“You’re a fun Guy.
So, what is all this holy-holy admiration stuff
that humans do in and for your Name?”

“I don’t know; it’s really weird, isn’t it?”

“I thought You knew everything.”

“Well, by staying out of the way,
I choose not to know.”

“What made the stuff
that we and You are made of?”

“I’m not sure;
I only know everything from Me onwards;
that stuff could have appeared in the universe
from somewhere else, or have been here forever,
or appeared via some kind of possibility;
it is not marked as holy or unholy.”

“Well, that’s immaterial, anyway.
Back to our probe.”

“I ain’t never did anything terrible nohow!”

“Ever do anything wrong at all?”

“I threw some litter into space
because there was no where else to put it.”

“What litter?”

“Excess atoms that then made your world.”

“Well, no harm done.”

“Thanks.”

“Do angels exist, having wings and all that?”

“No, not as humans have defined them.
Wings are useless in space; there is no air.
There are more ETs than Me, however.”

“We thought so.
Is there a Bigfoot?”

“Ha, ha. Those are just hoaxes put forth
by some hicks in the southern US.”

“Isn’t ‘hick’ a bad name?”

“No, I am just describing an actual fact,
for which the word ‘hick’ is perfectly descriptive.
I have to use words that you can understand.”

“So, You’ve never been seen,
and just about everything bad
that was said about You
by humans is false; so, what’s left?”

“Not much, just Me as not ‘God’.”

“But You created us; you helped us along.”

“Well, in a way, but that was quite inadvertent.
You would have formed
somewhere sometime anyway.
Some of my ‘trash’ formed
your solar system;
then you evolved.

“Your population was down
to less than a thousand once,
and I guess some of my
good vibrations rubbed off on them
as I passed by on my way
to pick up some rare elements on Pluto.
I was building a new house
that could withstand all eternity.
The weather in space is always bad;
it’s full of radiation of all sorts.”

“Strange weather all over the earth, too.”

“There are many hurricanes that began
from a hint of a wisp of a breeze.”

“Mr. ET, is there way to tell
the future of the weather?”

“The 2025 Farmer’s Almanac just came out.”

“So how do we speed up evolution?”

“Takes time,
but you could enhance your own chemistry,
As I did.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“It is; I was a Jekyll and Hyde for a while.”

“Ah-ha, that’s when
you committed crimes against humanity!”

“No, I was far away,
plus that was 35 billion years ago.”

“Oh, but do You have an alibi?”

“No, I was all there was then,
but I have pictures.”

“Let’s see.”

“I don’t have then with me,
but they are very similar to those
taken by the Hubble telescope.”

“You were there among those
trillions of stars and galaxies?”

“Yes, but I was already semitransparent by then.”

“It would be like one of those
‘Where’s Waldo’ puzzles.”

“You’ll just have to take my Word
if you cannot prove otherwise.”
“What is the purpose of life?”

“To live.”

“What is life?”

“You are life.”

“Is life and all really just a bunch of
atomic spinning things
of various compositions?”

“That’s it.”

“Nothing more?”

“There can be no more, for that is all there is.”

“Why do we keep hoping for more?”

“Greed and having no gratitude, but
still, you are a sparkling billion year product,
and so you are quite amazing.”

“We are pretty cool when you think about it.”

“That’s all it takes to appreciate life.”

“Any other universes?”

“Sure, but many did not amount to anything;
however, I am going on vacation
to a good one next week.”

“Be sure to send a post card saying
‘Wish you were here’,
that is, if there is oxygen there.”

“Will do.
Lucky for you here that bacteria and plants
came about and made oxygen.
Thenceforth you began as you.”

“Yes, a lucky break;
oxygen was a mere waste product
from photosynthesis.”

“See, all is as it seems.
No need to invent any supernatural Intent
to blame or thank for anything.”

“All is as it did?”

“Yes, that’s why it took so long.”

“Indeed, a true God type Creator
could have done it instantly,
not even needing 6 days,
or getting tired on the 7th.”

“Yes, but the All is an origin, not a Creator.
The ground-state was always around,
and so there was no creation, and no Creator.”

“Yikes, then what should we do?”

“Just be.”

“OK, good advice, but,
if we ever find that there was a Culprit Creator
Who committed some of the very crimes
that His commandments spoke against,
like murder, destruction, or hatred,
then He is really going to be toast.”

“As He should be,
for those acts would
have been unconscionable,
especially for Someone
of that high stature.”

“Thanks for your testimony.
We’ll call it the Third Testament.
Your judgment day is near at hand.
I’m calling a one hour recess.”

“All please rise.”

“The court finds You not guilty on all counts,
due to lack of evidence, plus Your good nature.”

“Evidence for those like Me
is not even conceivable.”

“True. Thank you everyone.
Please bring in the next case.”

Austin walks in.

“Austin, did you leave the toilet seat up in a household
where there were females present?”

“Well, maybe, yes I did, but…”

“100 years of hard labor in Siberia.”